Swimming In Laundry

By William R. Mattox Jr. (a member of USA Today's Board of Contributors) Twenty years ago, I found myself in the kind of situation every first-time parent fears the most. It was 3 a.m., and I hadn't had a good night's sleep in the eight weeks since Allison's triumphant entry into our world. Night after night, my wife and I had taken turns trying to get our daughter to sleep peacefully. On this...

What is it?

"This is your present. I can't tell you what it is. It isn't soap." Bigweld The boys were kind enough to unwrap my Mother's Day gifts 3 days early. They made soap "with flowers" at preschool. They were very excited about it. I wonder how they will feel once I use it?...

Never use marshmellow cream as a substitute for marshmellows. There is a distinct difference in how the rice crispy treats turn out. The end result is rather disappointing. I fancy myself a baker, but I have to wonder what kind of a real baker has marshmellow cream AND actually admits to having it!...

This was the view from my back door this morning: I'm all for a good snow shower in, say, JANUARY. I enjoy one or two snow falls per year; and I only enjoy them until the snow gets dirty, the cocoa runs out, or we lose a glove. Digging out the snow pants was not part of my plan this morning. Playing in the snow provides me with serious job security though. I am amazed by how many pairs of...

I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Slit in the front. Everything clear?' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a...

If you drove through "down town" yesterday, I was the woman sitting on the side of the road with two little boys who indeed look a lot alike. We make for a great audience when repair men come to town. We especially like when they use heavy equipment. Bigweld is certain he saw a grapple. I'm certain he did not. If you were at the park today, I was the woman hoping to be knocked unconscious by...