Alan Cordle

You say you're so busy, but is there anyone else in America with your cushy job*? I mean, come on, you visit this site constantly. Don't whine about no free time. *How'd you get that job again? Oh yeah. Now I remember....

Mock them They fight back Apologize for being dicks Too late.

I have more friends than you. Trust me.

This is what you should do: listen to me, I know best. It’s your fault. I don’t like this and that with you. Fix your flaws. Too fat, tall, bald, short, old. Not the kind of shoes I like. Once again, you’re not listening to me. Love me like this. Talk this way to my heart. Touch when I want. You never understand me. No money, near retirement. Drinking too much. Smoker showing...

Ill meet you by the third pyramid. * She kept a folder on her desktop labeled "s***dal." There was no actual s***dal; she wanted to create one. * Sharks are often described as "circling." I find that to be inaccurate. I've been in the water with sharks near two different islands. * Why do some people say Jesus, Mary, Joseph in rapid succession? Is it like uttering Open, O'...

Thank god they dropped the apostrophe. That's been bothering me since before the first time I saw them, in 1989ish. This will be my fourth show with them. Woohoo! Bessie's Boathouse Under the Broadway Bridge Oregon State Fair The Roseland Hi. I'm Alan. I'm an Aries from South Carolina and I like glittery beehives, Hybrids, and President Roslyn....

Shannon asks Where on earth is this red box in the woods? It's part of the Natural Cycles at Tryon Creek State Park in Portland. Here's Ghost Trailer by Anne Thompson and J.D. Perkin....